Secrets of My Diary: #36. My heart craves to see you shine.

“One of the signs of the greatest strength is to actually keep the pain inside and win battalions of hopes against your demons fighting back at you.

Silently. Secretly. And sumptuously.

Because sometimes some things must remain between us and the Lord of the Heavens. That is why I crave to see your heart shine. Because that is where He dwells within us.

I always believed that the heart is never empty. It is either filled with love of and for people or the hatred at the helm.

And God is a symbol of Love. Just like we can’t collect water and fire at one place, similarly, we can’t conjoin the love of this world the Love of the Lord of all the Worlds at one place.
It’s either God or opposite of God.
It’s either this end or the far end.
It’s either Heaven or Hell.

To read my previous post about importance of love. Click here: I dream of Love

I am a spiritual person. Not because I needed to believe in someone more than myself to imbibe hope within my heart galloping from my lips. But, because I am certain that my existence is not for just. I, along with all the billions alive on this planet are as important.
Because death doesn’t suffice my purpose of existence.

Every night before going to bed, I ask myself the same question over and over again, “Why did I chose to be called a ‘Writer’ by myself?”

“Is it only because I think I am one?”

“Or is it because I’d been loved a lot?”

“Or is it because I’d chosen to give love, in return of nothing at all?”

I remember my days. Those days when I always thought myself as a fantast. I spoke less to people. And I spoke less about people even. But, I heard people talking about me each and every day as I walked in that arena over and over again. I used to hear different articulated words each and every time. Some of goodness and some of the ill-fated.

Still wondering what does fantast mean? Ha ah.w
You’d have to scroll to the end to learn about it. Now don’t scroll to it.
I understand your excitement but before that you need to understand my feeling first.

I always wondered if this is how being loved feels like. I found no answer in any form. That one is loved and hated at the same time. That the reasons for some to love might become the reasons for some to hate.

Relentless, I chose to get back to myself. To the confidence that was lost behind. And to the days from the vault. And that is how I reflect upon myself as a personal memorandum of my existence.

On the right is me standing exactly where I stood three months back looking at the same sky to find out something new in it.

Trying to renew the same feeling is also a reason. Maybe.

On the left is what I am actually trying to see through. Sometimes it’s not about what you see. Rather, it’s about what you want to see.

Likewise if I am looking at you, I am not actually looking at you. I look for your soul and all the rights and wrongs. And how can those things get better with time.

Does that make me a narcissist?
Well even if it does, does that lessen your value or increase it?

One’s opinion matters. But, not every opinion matter.

I often hear this term from people around me that I advice them much and doesn’t let them speak much.

I have only one clear answer for them,

“If I won’t, somebody else will. And not everyone knows you as I know. So, before people find better of you, be the person you should be. And speak, whatever you should. But, don’t disregard yourself by showing disrespect towards me. Because it might not matter to me. But it will, to you, after you find out how wrong you were at that point in time when you refused to believe me.

_Saiz

Fantast is the word for writers.

 Note:
To connect with me through social media personally.
I have placed the icons on the right side of this page.
No, not to appreciate, but, to be appreciated if you feel down.
Open to all.

Another important announcement is that I have  recently starting guest blogging  on my blog. A gentleman who  writes Urdu Poetry with Adab asked me a week ago  if I accept guest blogs. That was when this idea got struck in my  head.
This will promote your goodness and eventually spread Love  over Hatred around ourselves.
Change starts  from around us. Right?

And I accept blog posts on
Personal Development,
Urdu Poetry,
English Poetry,
and
Prose.
And no promotional or branding stuffs.
Art is Art. Accepted. And Decorated too.

(: Thank  You very Much. Love to You. 🙂