I feel I’m going to die

Sometimes I feel I’m going to die of a heavy heart. Like when the pain starts to weigh so much that one more hurt can tremble us from tip to toe. Like when the heart can actually feel the pain and start to cry. Like the chest is about to burst.

But, do I have to lose my parents for people to be a little more nicer towards me?

But, you knowing something inside of you is getting corrupted, or starting to give up at the cause of a disease. A disease where the heart is full of pain and remorse. Where there is no relief.

Sometimes I wonder if there’s anyone who will ever selflessly care about any bit of me. Without any bit of hatred in their heart.

Why can’t we be there for someone when we expect them to be there for us? Why do we always need them for our selfish reasons? Can they not get hurt? Can they not stay quiet because they want us to miss them more instead of to ignore them more?

Can the same people who wanted nothing from us when they were always there for us, who whenever we felt so low we often turned towards be selfish towards us when all they wanted was our presence to be felt?

But, what did we return to them? Ignorance? Hatred(which we argue that it seems as such to them but, not to us)?

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