“Thank you, Allah”, I showed gratitude as I rolled at my bed and saw my phone. To watch the time obviously. Thirty-three past four played the hands as I oscillated through his past chats, one more time. Well, that’s how my day began. I finished reading his last….. And there was a sudden rush of blood in my heart when ‘his’ name shined in my WhatsApp list of stories after a long while. I had no idea if he had deleted his whole WhatsApp account apart from just uninstalling the app, which he usually did. That means he deleted all our past chats, everything. Because deleting WhatsApp number erases the backup from the Google Drive as well.
But, I was glad I stopped myself from texting him in these 87 days. I did not even have to forget anything anymore. We did not hate each other. We loved. We truly loved. And I was happy to learn about his strength to finally erase a part of me from his life. He always talked about rights and wrongs. And that was very brave of him
One day he asked, “How hard it is to choose a wrong path over the right one?
“Less than a thought”, I goggled, as I explained that at the very least, we would learn which one was the right path though.
He looked me in the eye and said, “The hardest part about being on the wrong path is_ realisation. Because the farther you go, the more you have to walk back to the start. So, it’s all about realising, the earlier the better, if we are on the wrong path.
I turned off my ‘Read Receipts’ and opened it to read one of all his mesmerising writings, which were all centered around me, once upon a time. And it read_
“Main muhabbat ke us marhale meN jaa pahoNcha
Main agar kaafir hota toh sajda bhi kar deta”
“In that stage of love
I reached as a lover
If I were a dis-believer,
I would have prostrated to her”
And I thanked Allah again for making me fall in love with him and helping me learn that_
“The greatest form of Love for a soul is to prostrate the lover.”
But, this is what he always said_
“Allah is between us.” His last sentence to me. And that’s the greatest blessing one can wish for in a relationship. That’s how he always was. Sublime.
Yes, he is no more in my world.
No more my world.