Feels of My Fading Whispers

“If I stayed around, it won’t help. Do you want me to leave?”

“Sometimes I crave talking to you and there is a part of me that misses you. I am not able to accept the greatest lie of my life that_ I don’t love you any longer.”

“But, there was no you in my story. How will you explain this to your heart?”

“When you truly love someone, it shall not matter to you that they don’t love you back. Or that they love someone else. Or that they had been in love since forever. All that shall matter to you is: if this person has purity in his heart, if he has Allah in his heart.”

“But, I am an arrogant with love. The one who doesn’t care. Because in the past he did. He absolutely submitted himself. And in the end, he was at the receiving end of hatred, lies and ignorance. And the only difference with you is: it’s you who’s trying to hold on to me this time. But, sooner or later your heart will give up. These feelings will fade away. Your heart won’t be afraid_ to give up on me.”

“Your face has started to fade from the back of my mind already. Not because I haven’t seen you in a long while but, because I did not see you enough when you were here with me. That’s how less of a millennial you stayed in my life. I try to recall your face. About how you loved making faces while I was just there, sitting under the shade whose leaves are there, no more; and kept staring at you while you talked and talked and talked. And laughed. And smiled. The arms that were craving to hug you, feel so contracted; and, they don’t miss you. They just…they just forgot how it felt like holding you. I still miss you. Every essence. I miss having your face in my eyes.”

“Feelings are essence of human bodies. They come and go. Just like that.”

“But, I still believe, with all the strength that my heart possesses, that we were meant to be, if it were not for your arrogance.”

“People like me don’t deserve to be loved. And I’ve taken my heart to the extremity of not craving to be loved. But, I don’t want to be hated even. I am sorry.”

“Every night,
I tell my heart
that I am strong
and tough.
But, sometimes
I just miss,
being missed by you.”

–Saiz