“I have written something for you.”
“Am I that lucky?”
“You never know.”
“Show me, please.”
“Nah. Not so easily. What am I getting in return?”
“There’s nothing I can give you. But, still you can ask me anything you want from me.”
“Your precious time”, I typed with a shy emoticon.
“Sure”, she said with a emoji that covered both her eyes. Feeling shier than me.
And she never talked about the write-up until when she shared that a friend of hers wrote something extremely heart warming for her in Urdu language. Urdu has that charm. It can melt anyone’s heart. Even if you don’t feel for that person. You would want to talk to them.
I write in Urdu as well. Yes she knows that. Yes, she has appreciated it as well. But, why appreciate someone else and make me jealous instead. I am not jealous of people who write in Urdu. Why would I be? I know I am not the best ever. And I will never be. But, she should not give the right to write for her to anyone. See, here is where the actual problem is. And the moment she addressed that this friend of hers has a crush on her, my heart broke. I’ll tell you in detail about how or why in the subsequent part. Because here I want to talk about that long letter(which was eventually short-lived) I wrote about her at the night when I saw her for the very first time. Because I felt I had a special place in her life even though we hadn’t talked at all until that time. We were just following each other on Instagram.
“Wait, you had to give me something as well.”
I ignored this text because I was sad. And I still am. Not just because of the fact that she talks to a guy apart from me. But, because…. oh no.. I am not supposed to talk about it here. So, the letter I sent to her__
“Okay, so finally I have your face into the back of my mind.”
But, instead of smiling while reading this, the obvious question you should ask is_
“Why do you want to remember my face in the first place?”
Well, there’s something about your face. Obviously, it is pretty. But, here is what’s more to it_ I might have suffered scarcity of words when it came to describing a thing in particular but, I have never felt short of imagination ever before.
I had always been very fond of remembering a place I once visited. Even after it’s been years, I would still be able to recall the lanes, the shops, the things I did there. But, my imagination is a step ahead. I can create a picture of something in my subconscious without having a sight of it, just by it’s description. Everything. But, since I first saw you….
Wait? When was the first time I saw you?
Of course, when you added me to your ‘close friends’ on Instagram.
“Btw, how did it make me feel?”
I was appalled on the outside but, my heart jumped out of joy. It was a special feeling to be made special.
“Do I even have to make it clear?”
The above letter is what I sent to her to see her response. I saved the rest to surprise her with my confession. But, she said nothing. Nothing at all. She did not even talk about her. It surely broke my heart therein. I remember how excited she was just to learn about the idea that ‘I’ had written something for her. Let me read out to you the other part of the letter, which eventually remained unsent. And, it will remain and die in my drafts.
Oh dear, I take note of you. About everything you do. Everything you say. I keep revolving the things you’d say to me not because I am blatantly interested in you but, that you are poignantly interesting.the unsent letter
I took note of you. From the first time you reacted to my Instagram story, I stitched your name into the back of my mind. Not because I needed to distinguish you from the scores of people who do so but, because I literally hated it when someone just reacted to all of the hard work I just did there. I mean, it’s so unfair that someone edits a picture, writes something with so much effort and also from the bottom of his heart to make the readers feel the same feels, and all you’ve got to do is react. Just react. Just like that. But, that one reaction has been my sole concern since you have walked in. All my effort to add Instagram stories there was just to receive a reaction from you. To get noticed by you. I have started to like the idea that I matter to you. In a way, that I know nothing of but, it blushes my heart when I see your name in my chat box. I put my efforts so that I can see it everyday. I know you don’t love me, nor do I. But, love is the destination anyway. And, you are my journey.
If I mean to you anything, if anything, just let me know. I don’t want to let you down. I don’t want to break your heart. I want you here. Right here. With me. Until the end. I want to marry you. Will you?